Day 5 Of Misery Without Her

Its the 5th day,i rally did not have any mood to go to work,but i still got up and tell myself i have to face all tis ppl and problems.I knew Terry was waiting for me to really scold me for wat had happen last nite and he really did.which in my heart i know he is sad abt it as well.I can feel tat my staff were all in a very low mood like me and i didnt know how to cheer them up myself cos i'm already so unlucky and my mood is in 0%.Without them is like losing my arms and leg,they were the ones tat cheer anyone of us and the backbone of Clinic.Today without them i know i was short of staff but i did not request ofr any cos i wanna work things out myself.its been so long since i work in the Bar and i feel the ache after work.didnt have time to smoke neither eat cos thru out the time it was so busy and guess no one did wanted to bother me cos they no i am not in a rite state to even bother,but some of the managers likeAloysius(MOS),Greg(MOS),Randy(Fbar),Aric and Terry came over asking whether i need help i rejected their kind offer which tis is the real me i dont ask for favours neither will i ask for help cos with or without help i know things will still work out.But i do thank them for asking.Today again the same thing happen at Kandi Bar someone was caught.As for me i didnt bother cos i was not in any mood at all.Saw her coming for work at 7.30pm,i wasnt in a rite state of mind due to b4 that i was being reprimanded by Terry.Today seems like i have return to my old days as a Bartender taking stocks,doing orders,washing gls and even doing inventory which help me kill time if not i really dunoo wat things am i going to think abt and making me feel emo again.time past by fast and im jus waiting for lunch later where i'll be able to see her and Ah-ma will be happy seeing her too.All i know tat im hungry but i didnt have appetite to eat.i feel tired but i jus wanna blog all my feelings b4 i jus throw myself to bed.i hope she doesnt have to take up any job jus becos of my debts.I dont wan u to be so hard on urself,u always tells me tat u r a princess and u should be like one letting me take care of ur every needs.i hope u do tell me things tat trouble u like the negative and positive P.kit.dont jus swallow all ur troubles to urself cos 1 day u will jus break down which tat will be the last thing on earth i would see.is there no way out tat the only solution is to go seperate ways?From the day we were together i told myself to cherish u and to give my full love to u cos i know u r tat girl im waiting for and would wanna see the future together.i am really really sorry for all the mistakes and the hurting things i have done to u.i know its not easy to forgive and forget but would u spare a thought for Ah-ma,she is so old and dont wish to see tis things happening.she really hope to see us happy and see us getting married and i know tats her last wish on tis earth.hope things will work out and let me share ur burden and troubles.

Without u,

Kenneth Chan (DEAR)