Day 11..Will i see the Light

Day 11,have u ever wonder wat will we be in the future??i really have no idea and i dont even dare to think abt my future now cos i'm really in a messy state till sometimes i wonder wat i do is it worth it or its correct??today had another bad hair day for me cos of my ex-staff who came down to find me and talk..got spotted by Terry and he sms me to ask them to leave but i didnt cos i feel tat they are not within the company compound unless u telling me tat the fountain area belongs to Clinic.He call melvin over and i told melvin off cos tats a public area and i have no say to ask them to leave.dunno wat melvin told him but i know once i turn around he scolded me in a loud tone in front of my guest and staffs and security.i didnt really care cos i wasnt even in the mood to argue back neither embarass.Thus he ask me back tis Qs do i still wanna work or tranfer out.i was like thinking hard transfer me to where??CDM??tats my only option i guess cos the rest like Lunar or Heeren i wont even wanna step in.dunno wats wrong with me tis few weeks like so unlucky and things keep jus coming into my way.When will i be happy again when will my happy go lucky character be back?Today marks another day as i tried to quit smoking le.didnt buy cigarette at all wanna quit tis habit and lead a healthy life style.hope i will be able to tolerate cos i have been smoking since 12yrs old.I really miss the times we spend together.Aric Tan saw my foul and moody look came over and check it out then i explain to him the whole thing regarding Terry.didnt mean anything but Aric apologise to me which i feel there nothing to do with him wat for tell me sorry.no matter wat i really have doubts since a few day back abt the company cos of the things im going thru.wondering 2yrs back with the company i wasnt like tat till now how devoted and loyal am i last time compared to now..seen many ppl come and go till i dont have any feelings at all.lost of words and expression didnt show a thing or two.fight broke out at lunar front door jus now and i worry for her safety but i knew she would be fine cos there are ppl there taking care of her,so i didnt when over and ask her how she is.didnt knew she had to work till 6am today..hope she feeling alrite and never really vomit le.pls take the med regularly cos i dont wish to see u in pain and will get better soon.sometimees i wonder do u really care for me and think of me cos i really dunno wat ur mind is thinking.i really dunno wat makes u say out things tat badly abt urself neither are u reluctant to sms me back or call me back at times.give each other some times to understand each other but ur doors are not open to let me know u better.y things turn out tis way i really blame no one but myself again.maybe cos i play to many girls last time now its trying to fool me back?God is so unfair at times.i really got so much hardship in life and things yet u still give me so much shit..when can i see the light i really wonder???know i will be very hot temper tis few day cos im trying to quit smoking and if there no nicotine in the body the side effects will come.hope she remember to take Al on the 5th til the 7th Oct.cos i have taken mine.well,going to bed now cos i have to wrk later at 4pm which i didnt slpet much yesterday too.wish u reach home safely and rest well.