Wat Am i Looking Forward Too

Sometimes i jus dont know myself hat i wan or what i looking forward too.it really bother me at times but life still got to go on.Heard that Cannery got fight in the early evening which was 6 plus pm.hmmm,i guess Cannery is really very messy at this point of time since i left there.another shocking news was that i heard Fashion bar was taken over by another company which make me wonder is the company so easily giving away outlets that are not earning.well,it all comes down till the end whether will there still be room for me to grow in future if i stay with this company or should i expand a few routes down in case i in need of them.i'm still wondering??
My heart feels sad but words jus didnt came out of my mouth cos i dont wish to think about it neither becos of tis bother me.whether its good or bad i'll still swallow down cos i guess i have become more lowly now.The answer is out there but i didnt wanna know it,why have i been so like tat nowadays.am i living in my own world which is nothing around me is happening jus going to work and coming back.maybe thats part of life.hope i'll be able to get the part-time job soon.if im able to most of my time will be working and working jus to earn every penny.time will be against me and i'll be rushing.no matter what this is wat i need now to work and earn that money.
Weather changes people changes places changes after all im jus looking at a big picture staring at it looking for ways to solve all kinds of problems but no matter how hard i try i jus couldnt find the answer out from the picture.i guess im sickening at times and cling to you too much,and i know i maybe a pain in the ass at times but dont worry once i get a job it will change cos i will have less time for you which this is what u wan to have some free time and space for urself.time flies soon we will be going thru our 5mth together.will i ever see 5mths becoming 5yrs then 50yrs,well the fog in front of me is to misty which i myself cant see clearly but justo take every step slowly and steady.Maybe i'm jus someone passing thru this dark alley which hides many mysterious things beneath it but no matter what i wont bother cos it will do me no good in time to come.
Is Heaven fair to all people living?what a big question which i bet no one will ever know even god himself..i feel sleepy and tired already and wanna fall asleep soon.i bought papa bread for you.eat when u hungry.

Sadness in Disguise,
Kenneth Chan (DEAR)