New YEar Eve..

Been busy thru out the week since xmas eve..well,got angry with dear dear the other day for she came home drunk and also never told me she was going FLY..hmmbut its all past and we cherish each other more in a way.time flies and its going to be 2009 already.have many wish to fulfill next year as i go many plans in mind first will be going a trip to BANGKOK with her.Yesterday went to play mahjong with her frens and chuanie.didnt expect to win almost 300..haha but to bad never get cash on the spot cos someone play spot,say never bring $$$ still dare chio us play mahjong..hope faster get $$$ from her then can book our hotel at Bangkok..guess u muz be very anxious rite??plus so long never take airplane already..hehe bringing a mountain tortoise out..bleahz.Tomoro will be a busy day for us,cos new year eve everywhere also slam but hope my dear faster end work then come home rest..cos i dont wish her to stay there then have to drink.now waiting for her to return home then slp tomoro we still gotta wake up early to go work and she gotta go out to get some golden uniform..i really find it stupid lol..well,afterall i wanna be there for my darling and love her even more so tat she wont think that i dont love her or care for her..dear dear wish us have a new year ahead.

Merry Xmas

I feel fuck up went i jus tpye finish my blog and the whole thing went off jus becos of the stupid internet connection..hmmm..xmas around the corner and will be getting busy le..it will be a happy week thru out jus that will feel sad that i cant celebrate with my darling at all but i know there will be more to come in the future year.tomoro got to go shopping with her to get soe gift for our frens and i need an exchange gift for my work place as well..i really didnt splash water on you im jus refering to the online job thingy is not reliable tats all.i dont care i wanna be no1 in you if not im gonna hang all the babies and sell it away..hahaha.well all i know is im happy with you and life like tat can le need not ask for much..hehe hope our room will be ready soon then can put alot of thing in there le but i wan u to make sure to help me clean the room as well cos i wan u to learn it not counting on me all the time can??now waiting for her to come home then can have early early breakfast le.hope next year will be a better year and fruitful year ahead for me and you cos i got alot of plans and wishes and dreams to fulfill in all and tis is my xmas gift will do..hope god can give it to me..hehe
shal stop here cos need to wait for pang nui to come home le..haha

A Day to Remember

Didnt blog for so many days already and i know u are waiting for me to write things about it.i really feel lost for wat i did..to u it maybe a stare to me its jus a glance but whether ant it doesnt matter most cos i have been given the verdict.no matter how much i swear it cant possibly change ur thinking in me.i will only lay my eyes on my dearest then anyone else i will only devour and love the person in my life which is you then others.cant u see how much u are to me till today.am i really such a kind to do such a thing.am i so dishoest for u to trust.i really respect you in everything cos we are a couple and for me im a person easy to forgive and forget and i know u have the trumph card in ur hand cos u are always in the upper hand in the relationship but i dont mind cos there cannot be 2 tigers on top of a mountain if not they will fight i know its not easy for u to forgive and forget but im not like ur ex boyfren who are those sort of ppl but im a man who respect his beloved ones.freedom is such a big word which can mean alot of things and im glad that we clear the air around us surrounding so many mysterys.i wanna be happy with u together.having the trust in each other which we wont doubt each other for the things we do.i jus wish that u can tone down alittle bit in ur attitutde towards me as a respect of a bf as wat u wanted to promise me.my life is in ur hand whether wat kind of decision u make i will jus follow cos i entrusted everything to u.whether rite or wrong i dont wish to argue but i know i wanna say sorry to u for how u feel.hope u cool down soon.u are the only one tat i cant stop loving for.

Wat Am i Looking Forward Too

Sometimes i jus dont know myself hat i wan or what i looking forward too.it really bother me at times but life still got to go on.Heard that Cannery got fight in the early evening which was 6 plus pm.hmmm,i guess Cannery is really very messy at this point of time since i left there.another shocking news was that i heard Fashion bar was taken over by another company which make me wonder is the company so easily giving away outlets that are not earning.well,it all comes down till the end whether will there still be room for me to grow in future if i stay with this company or should i expand a few routes down in case i in need of them.i'm still wondering??
My heart feels sad but words jus didnt came out of my mouth cos i dont wish to think about it neither becos of tis bother me.whether its good or bad i'll still swallow down cos i guess i have become more lowly now.The answer is out there but i didnt wanna know it,why have i been so like tat nowadays.am i living in my own world which is nothing around me is happening jus going to work and coming back.maybe thats part of life.hope i'll be able to get the part-time job soon.if im able to most of my time will be working and working jus to earn every penny.time will be against me and i'll be rushing.no matter what this is wat i need now to work and earn that money.
Weather changes people changes places changes after all im jus looking at a big picture staring at it looking for ways to solve all kinds of problems but no matter how hard i try i jus couldnt find the answer out from the picture.i guess im sickening at times and cling to you too much,and i know i maybe a pain in the ass at times but dont worry once i get a job it will change cos i will have less time for you which this is what u wan to have some free time and space for urself.time flies soon we will be going thru our 5mth together.will i ever see 5mths becoming 5yrs then 50yrs,well the fog in front of me is to misty which i myself cant see clearly but justo take every step slowly and steady.Maybe i'm jus someone passing thru this dark alley which hides many mysterious things beneath it but no matter what i wont bother cos it will do me no good in time to come.
Is Heaven fair to all people living?what a big question which i bet no one will ever know even god himself..i feel sleepy and tired already and wanna fall asleep soon.i bought papa bread for you.eat when u hungry.

Sadness in Disguise,
Kenneth Chan (DEAR)

Loneliness

Days past yet im still in a mess.my mind is full of passion before but now i have to restart everything.seriously i dont mind to do it again but will there be a pillar supporting me thru out.Had a few tiff cos of my latness didnt mean it at all but i knew i lied cos i didnt wan u to feel angry but eventually it backfire me.am i always late??shit job i have which really make me wana look for another line to start it off but IR is around the corner which i dream and waited for,will i be able to wait till then??im sorry if i spoil ur mood going out to party with them,sudden feel the lonliness which i never felt.u say u wanna stay with me but i ask u to go cos i didnt wan u becos of me spoil the whole girls morale..i did the rite choicecos i didnt wanna be selfish.i know u wan me to join them but i didnt wan cos i wasnt in the rite mood neither would i have the spare cash to enjoy at this moment like i say i will rather stay home every off day till i settle everything which i wont mind u going out cos if u follow me that way u will feel bored.more over im a guy with no life at times and i wonder whether is it boring with me at times.after all,save the sms u send askng me to call them cos they looking for me if they really looking for me they will call me.but it would still be the same answer to them that i wont be going cos i dont wanna spoil any one mood.jus wanna to hear from u when u back home safely.sorry i cant bring u go holiday next week which i promise u and made u took leave which i feel so guilty in my heart.i feel so sorry since that day till now i havent get over it.im really tired and wanna jus lie in bed and fall into a deep sleep waking up tomoro will be another fresh day ahead..sweet dreams to everyone especially u.

Sadness in the heart,
KEnneth Chan(DEAR)

Have to work harder than Before

Times past and i know i have to work extremely hard for the $$$ i owe and time to really wake up my idea.i have been thinking of how to earn $$$ fast but never thought of how to earn $$$ the rite way using hardship as a tool in my life.May this lesson will be a stepping stone for me not to commit all this mistake in life as well as let me taste the feeling of hardship.i wont mind wat ppl are going to say or gossip about me cos i know i wont run away from my mistake and im willing to work harder to repay every thing i owe.its going to be a long road ahead till i clear all this stuff,even if i have to eat lesser slp lesser work more and not going out or buy things i dont mind.but hope wat i told you,you will remember and be more positive about life and work things out for urself and me as well.every penny i spend will be a a secong thought from today onwards cos i wish to faster and shorten my time frame for better purposes in life that i look forward to with.i may be foolish in the way i do but its the past and dont wish the matter to be brought up neither fault urself.time is clicking and there are many things waiting for me to start doing.all i know i feel sorry for the ppl around me that i let down and especially myself.i will use my hands to clear all this mess i created.watever plans i made for the coming year have to be postpone,i will not want anything from anyone during this period of revival round cos i dont wish u to spend anything on me cos i got watever i need already.i want u to save up watever $$$ u earn.and really look forward u and linda doing ur clothes thingy online..other then tat i will not make any plans.u may seem that im alrite this few days but deep down im thinking of how to solve and work things out.im sorry that my facial expression cant tell u cos i dont wan u to feel worry or stress about all this.thats y in front of u i am so call happy but behind of me feels alot of sadness and worries which words jus cant express out from me.as long as i breathe and my limbs are functioning i will jus do watever i can.Will u be there for me and go thru tis period of low down season...tats all i ask for leading a very very simple life with no worries and only happiness truly understanding wat life is all about and y did man kind have always ups and down..thanks for everything u given me my dear..i love u,with all my heart.

With faith
Kenneth Chan(DEAR)